Friday, June 25, 2010

I love my mother.

This is my mother when she was a young woman, probably even younger than I am now.
I think she looks beautiful, and that she's beautiful, still.

She's strong and wonderful and at the moment she's sad, but she will feel better.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I love my man.

I love being married.  

It has only been just over 3 months, but I love it.
He is the best husband a girl could ask for, and he's MINE...
I feel blessed, very lucky and unmeasurable happy when I think about him & us.

 I love you, love!

Proudly South African

The Soccer World Cup is currently being hosted here in South Africa, and I think we're doing a fantastic job.
It's GREAT to live in this country.  
I love every minute, and I won't ever leave.  Never!

Here's to being proudly South African!

Monday, June 21, 2010

On weird dreams.

So for almost a year now I've regularly been dreaming of spiders.  Especially rain spiders.  That's a whole different story which I'll tell you on another day.

But lately I've been dreaming of even weirder things.

Like last night - I dreamt of a big, green lizzard. I'm talking about one that looks like the lizzard in the picture above, but about 0,5m long. 
It was sitting on the wall next to the bed we're sleeping in at the moment, in the spare room (our bedroom is a mess, we've had changes made to the en-suite bathroom and the whole place is covered in dust).  I don't mind reptiles, and in my dream I saw this lizzard sitting there, sleeping.  And I didn't want it to go away, he could sit there and sleep if he wanted to.  I just didn't want him to get a fright, because then he might jump on the bed and that would just not be good.

So much for sweet dreams?

Oh and on top of 'sleeping next to a green lizzard in my mind', it feels like I'm living someone else's life.
Isn't it great.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Out of place.

How to feel totally out of place in your own life:

Step 1 - Have a great life.

Step 2- Lose your dad unexpectedly.
Step 3 - Try to accept this change and try to go on with your life, although nothing will ever be the same again.
Step 4 - Repeat step 3, again, and again, and again.

I don't know if there's a step 5 yet.

What a bizarre, totally weird, weird, weird process to have to go through.

I won't recommend it.

Headache. Please stop.


I hate them.  And I have them, most of the time.
This week I'm going to figure out why I have them, why I can't make it stop, and what to do about it.
Wish me luck! 

Oh, and it's also the start of my attempt to take back control of my life.  Let's see how that goes...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A roof party.

credit: youaremyfave

I wish I could throw a roof party tonight.
For my mother, because it is her birthday today.
A roof party in a little coastal town somewhere.  With lots of champagne, colourful snacks, a big open fire and the perfect music.

This is a picture of her and my father when they were young and in love:

Happy birthday, girly!
Today we'll celebrate LIFE.

Chill-cat. Literally.

Like I've mentioned before, Chilli is a very curious cat.
Last night she decided to hop into the fridge.   :)

We sometimes call her "Chill-cat" and she's now proven that the name suits her very well!

One bag of Chilli, please.

This is my cat, Chilli, in a bag. 
She got into one of my bags a few evenings ago, and made herself quite comfortable in there.  
She is very curious and likes exploring new places.
I wish I could carry her around with me wherever I go. 
She's wonderful.  Always ready for a cuddle.
She's warm, fluffy, tempramental, loveable, beautiful.

What would I do without her?

Monday, June 7, 2010

So I'm doing it.

So I've decided to enter the SA Weddings Bride of the Year competition.

My dad was at my wedding - he was alive and proud and happy and he walked me down the isle and it was wonderful.

All of this, exactly 2 months before he died.
I feel blessed to have had him there.

If the lightning bugs don't fly to you, go find them.
That's my own, made-up quote for the day.
Here's to a bit of light in an otherwise occasionally dimly lit tunnel.

Time off.

I've finished my internship and it was great.  I've met special people, done special work and for the first time in my life I can truly say that I had a taste of what job satisfaction must feel like.  
For the first time in my life.
And now I have time off.
A lot of time.
I wish I could spend it in that house, above, with my husband and my mother, sister and brother and whoever they also want to be there.  
I wish I could take walks on the beach, sometimes alone, when the sun has already set.  
I wish I could turn around and see that house, sitting there on the beach in the water and then know that the people I love are in there.  
And that my dad is ok in heaven.  And that he's with us all, in our hearts.
I wish I could take away my mom's sadness.  
Even for only a day.  
So that she can recharge and sleep for 8 hours and eat well and get a bit more colour in her cheeks.
I wish I could make things better for all of us.
Just for a short while.
But only time can do that.
Time, of which I suddenly have a lot.

What should I do with it?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Credit: phayemuss

I've been working = no time for blogging.
Finishing up my internship at a fantastic firm.
The work and the people = doing me so good.
SO good. 
So I'll be back in a few days.